JJ you were a bastard!

This post is about how much Alias fucking sucks. JJ Abrams what the hell were you thinking?
Now I could periodically go through and point out all the things wrong with this show but that's guaranteed RSI. So I'm just going to quickly outline what sucks the most about Alias.

Number One: Everyone is a spy or counter spy, or counter, counter spy. Sydney's Dad, Sydney's Mum, Sydney's Flatmates, Sydney's' ex-boyfriends, Sydney's ex-boyfriends wife's. If Sydney had a fucking cat sitter they would have a deep affiliation with the covert world. At a certain point you would think Sydney would just assume every one she met was a face stealing assassin until proven otherwise.

Number Two: Every single episode involves some kind of covert, high risk mission that only the super agent Sydney Bristo can even attempt. According to my mega statistics mainframe 100% of these missions play out as follows; Sydney dresses up (usually in something really slutty, that if anything will attract far more attention than needed, although it seems that most international terrorists operate in eurotrash night clubs.), then she infiltrates the enemy complex (Eurotrash night club), then she just about achieves the objective when something fucks up (usually because someone hacked into the mainframe and stole all the internets.), then a few henchmen get killed and she barely makes it out. Pretty classic set up, but after watching this same thing play out over and over again it starts to get very very raw, like sanding your eyeballs with fine sandpaper. Just because the sandpaper is classic it doesn't mean you want to rub it on your eyes for 4 seasons (I'm only up to season 4 and it still hasn't changed, if anything its gotten even weaker and more see through.)

Number Three (final one because I'm getting bored of my own jibber): Apparently the CIA is entirely made up of complete retards. Sure they sound like they know what they're doing with their fast talk about complicated, undoubtedly CIA, things but when they let the same man ( Mr Sarc the resident bad guy) escape every week only to show up the next with another devious scheme, it becomes clear that the only prerequisites to joining the CIA is a fancy suit, a smooth quiet voice and an IQ lower than a warm cup of water. Also that Mr Sarc is actually part of Team fucking Rocket.

After watching 3 and a half seasons you start to speak to Alias with some kind of desperate hope that maybe just maybe a merciful god will hear you.
"No! CIA people don't put Sarc on that plane protected by random extras. You know the last four times you tried this he escaped with relative ease ."

That's all I have time for today.