review In The Name Of The King

Last night i saw this movie.... where to begin.

OK the casting. With ever Ewe Boll movie your always looking to be surprised by who he managed to trick ( like a god damn forest sprite) into his movies. This time its Jason Stathams turn. Along for the ride of shame is Ray liotta and Burt Reynolds!

Every now and then an actor has to do something they're not proud of to keep the rent paid... and not everyone can be a prostitute.

So the story is a confusing ride, its a turbulent mess of colourful accents spanning from all corners of the globe; for example Jason has his patented British accent while his apparent son has suburban American, and ol Burt hes just doing his thing regal or not.

I don't know why it was so confusing, It wasn't exactly rocket science but somehow you felt like you couldn't commit, like your brain could be doing better things than trying to follow an estranged German's interpretation of a game he's never played.
But in all things the movies not obviously bad, there's no definitive reason why your feeling sorely tested to keep your eyes and ears open. So its not even that craptacular, it fails in all regards, its only just below the OK mark so its not that funny either. It seems to have no one thing wrong with it you can pin point but thousands of things "just missing the mark". Like every atom in the movie was lightly tinged with failure.. not enough to see what it is but you know its there.

So another thing to notice in the movies arsenal of illusive flaws was the fact that many things were stolen from other movies. So what heaps of movies do that right? Not like this they don't. All the parts stolen are cobbled together in a rickety road of Fuckupery.

The grand battle scene was probably the most mentally taxing part in the movie. It was 20 minutes of brawling. Sounds cool right? Well its not. The battle just didn't really have a point, it was just rabble fighting... for 20 minutes

And when the credits finally roll as if to explain the reason why; the words " A Ewe Boll Film" Fade onto the screen. Thanks Ewe for your celebration of nothing spectacular in any regard.

NZ Perspective

I have a new site, NZ Perspective
I'll still write for this one doing game reviews and what not. The new one is more for my own entertainment. It's about my crappy job and my hatred of customers and things of that nature. Check it out!

review ; Dead Rising

Since playing this game I new it inevitable that I review it.. And I've been dreading it. Why the mass of our dedicated readers will ask no doubt and my only reply is; I just do aright.

To begin this game is a must play, so if you contemplating renting it do so.. go ahead, I'll wait.

So lets get down to the grit & shit of it shall we. Its very fun for the first hour or so because you can just kill zombies in a mall with an assortment of items (anything you can pick up ((except for food))) but I've long learned that there's more to games than stabbing zombies in the head with a shower nozzle and watching blood poor out, no its gotta have more because (believe it or not) that does get boring after a few hundred goes.

So how does the game fair after you get bored of mindless killing while wearing the stupidest costume imaginable? It fairs only OK in my book.

Starting with what I liked.

I like the fact that you can start again with your level, something about that is comforting allowing you to really explore and get creative, if you screw up the worst is you start from day 1 in the game with your full level.

I liked how the game was indeed challenging (though annoying at first) when you finally beat those god damn bastards on the hummer or This motherfucker you'll feel like you really acheived something.

What I didn't like

The controls are literally retarded, they didn't think about it really and I found myself craving resident evil 4.

You can find yourself trapped in a cycle of doom when fighting pretty much most of the bosses so you just watch yourself get hit, fall down, begin getting up and before you get control back from the standing up animation you get hit back down again... very annoying.

Sometimes your destined to fail, You'll receive a mission with no timer so you take a few minutes to get food and weapons, maybe some Xbox achievements and complete said mission with ease,, only to discover the next mission will happen at say for example 11 am which you can easily have missed. Only thing to do now is start again or go through the shame of ending b!

One small thing that got my goat was the fact that every second person in that mall was a psycopath, little unlikely but ill cope.

In a complete 180 what first appealed to you for that couple of hours at the start beings to bug you; the makers of the game in a bid to make sure you used a variety of weapons force you to change weapon every 5 minutes via the weapon breaking, this means you end up fighting zombies with weapons than only frustrate you to no end. Like empty cardboard boxes... unless you triple stack the mini chainsaw (which you get from that motherfucker) which is good for a kill mileage of 1000

To close things up I definitely recommend playing this game. It has at least 3 days of pure entertainment before you've decided you've done all its offering. Its strong point is definitely the variety of weapons and sand box like freedom (plus gore.. sooo much ), the story however isn't so fun especially when you have to replay it over and over. I wouldn't suggest buying it unless its the only way your gna get to play it, rent it or borrow or steal, make buying your last resort, But in ANY CASE make sure you play it.

The Forbidden Kingdom

Saw this film in the cinema during the weekend. My verdict 5/10, I didn't much care for it.

Un-Explainable

Look up un-explainable on google and you get this...

http://img218.imageshack.us/img218/1538/unexplainableyk1.jpg

(copy and paste link)

but this image isn't unexplainable, this dude is a male stripper who likes to play football during the day...hes strolling down main street in his clogs and comes across a riot...there you go. Google lied. I am angry about this.

9.11 Memorial

review; 30 Days Of Night

Ok so this movies a bit old. "But why are you reviewing it?" People may ask, to which I reply a stern fuck you.

This movie had its ups and downs, saying i watched it in two parts it seems to be i watched two very different movies; One good and one bad.

But if i think of it as a whole the bad overpowers the good so i have to say its a bad movie. Because its a bad movie I will start with the good parts.

Its a survival horror... I like survival horrors for some reason.

The vampire thingys are actually freakishly scary though they border line on retarded .

Alrighty now onto the things that werent so good.

Josh Heartnett is Josh Heartnett and will always be Josh Heartnett (not that hes a bad actor i just dont think hes a very diverse one)

One of the first things you get hit with when the movie opens up is relationship troubles.. i personally dont find myself connecting to characters through their relationship troubles, that just made me not care.

They tried to go for this "Its scary coz you can just see them" aproach. They took too far, Its not scary when a roudy pipeline worker gets snatched into the darkness by what seems to be "some guy" theres no mystery in that. Then you marvel at why the other characters arent running away coz some dude just grabbed their friend.

In final I wanna rap this up with the worst thing about this movie, i just couldnt get over the fact that in 30 Days Of Night there is not night, it should be called 30 Days Of Overcast. The whole time its suposed to be night, even when the lights go off you can still see very clearly all thats different is the sky is greyish black.

Comic Rar

Upcoming Marvel Films

Punisher: War Zone (Punisher II)

Punisher: Ray Stevenson

Jigsaw (Main Badguy) : Dominic West

After hunting down and killing hundreds of violent criminals, Frank Castle, aka The Punisher, faces his most deadly foe yet: Jigsaw. Coming to theatres Dec 5th 2008 (currently in Post Production)

---------------------------------------

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Due out  May 1, 2009, currently in post production.

also

X-Men Origins: Magneto (2009)

(Currently scouting and budgeting.)

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Iron Man 2

April 30, 2010 Marvel Studios, In development

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Thor

June 4, 2010 Marvel Studios, In development.

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The First Avenger: Captain America

May 6, 2011 Marvel Studios, In development.

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Spider-Man 4

May 2011 Columbia Pictures / Marvel Studios, In development.

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The Avengers

July 2, 2011 Marvel Studios, In development.

 

 

itsBeenSoLong_01

We've been apart for so long.. But I still remember you



Ive grown, developed a taste for polys and hdri lighting.
But theres always a space on my plate for you pixeled awsomness.

my sweet sega.





God that controller brings back memories. MEMORIES.

Pandora Battery

As some of you know, I fucked up my PSP a while back trying to install the 1.5 firmware kernel into 3.90 m-33 ( in laymans terms, I messed up BIG time ). So for the last month or so, I've been staring morosly at my very expensive paperweight, wishing and praying that someone had a homebrew enabled PSP with which I could create a Pandora's battery. I got impatient a bought one the other day, and all going to plan, tomorrow I will be using my PSP once again.

Which brings me to my next point: so what? I barely used my PSP when I had it, and enjoyed modding it far more than any of the games I played. Hopefully that will be remedied with Crisis Core ( among others ) but I doubt it will hold any appeal after I've clocked it. The problem is, the PSP is a fantastic hand-held console, but the games side of things is a real letdown.

To me though, worse than the dismal array of games ( there are some good ones, but thy're few and far between ) is Sonys incompetence. There are things that the PSP homebwerw community has developed that if implemented into official firmware, would make the PSP a far more powerful competitor to Nintendo's DS and other handhelds, which still has a strangelhold on the handheld market.

I could go on for hours, but I'll leave it at that.

3d of 3d? The future of 3d??

The short answer is "No", which coincidentally is also the long answer.
Wearing 3d glasses while operating a 3d package (by which I mean computer software; stop giggling!), is silly and will lead to permenant eye damage probably.
While colours seem brighter and more "in your face", and the sensation of being in your scene is pretty wild, it is no substitute for good old fashioned Seeing what you're doing.
So the next time one of the Cool kids comes around and says "Hey, wear these glasses while doing 3d and you'll be as cool as me and my friend(s)", take the glasses and wear them for a bit, because 3d is pretty neat, but then take them off because it's only interesting for about 10 minutes, and you look like a noddy.
So, there you have it. Pointless? You bet!

theList_01

Here's a list of games I want on PSP.

Ill be updating the list as new games come out that I want, if theres anything YOU as the reader think should be on there feel free to leave comments, Ill feel free to not read them. You will notice they're mostly rpg's...

That's coz I like rpg's.

PSP:
- Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core.
- Final Fantasy Tactics: War Of The Lion.
- Innocent Life: A Futuristic Harvest Moon.
- Puzzle Quest.
- Metal Gear Acid.
- Metal Gear Portable Ops.
- Final Fantasy III.
- Final Fantasy II.
- Final Fantasy.
- Final Fantasy Dissidia.
- Tales Of Eternia.
- Warriors Of The Lost Empire.
- God Of War Chains OF Olympus.
- Star Ocean: First Departure.
- Star Ocean: Second Evolution
- FlOw.
- Phantasy Star Portable

*crossed out means i have.

Thank you and goodnight.

preReview_01

Crisis Core is awesome, I like it so far, enough to spend sleepless hours through the night fusing materia... if you like Final Fantasy VII the mere thought that you could create new and unseen (by your eye) materia would bar you from sleep too.

Thumbs up so far

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